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Thunderlungs
Acolyte
8 Posts |
 Posted - 03 Aug 2011 : 07:54:55
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Well, after a substantial amount of Googling, I can't find ANY decent collections of Elminster's most memorable quotes ANYwhere online. Let's get this started! The internet needs it!
I suppose I should lead by example here and contribute. Not very epic, but one of my favorite moments is in Shadows of Doom, when Irreph Mulmar worriedly says "We're grateful for your help and all, but we've had a belly-full of wizards running things...", and Elminster blinks incredulously and says "By the good gods, man! What would I want to rule anyplace for?!" 
Also, from the Baldur's Gate II handbook:
"Such organizations (the Cowled Wizards) give wizards like me a bad name!" - Volo
"Your bad name is your own doing." - Elminster
Ahhh, gotta love that spry, witty, magnificent fictional ol' coot! Hahaha.
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Thunderlungs
Acolyte
8 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2011 : 15:45:10
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| 23 views, 0 responses? Come on, guys... :( |
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Thunderlungs
Acolyte
8 Posts |
Posted - 04 Aug 2011 : 09:56:54
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| 50 views and... Really? No input at all? Am I wrong to be surprised about this? |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31701 Posts |
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Dennis
Great Reader
9933 Posts |
Posted - 04 Aug 2011 : 15:12:48
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I have a lot of favorites. But alas, I'm too lazy right now to look for my notes, which are in hefty piles. Perhaps it's time that I type and save them as .doc files for easy retrieval. But I'm too lazy to do that, either. |
Every beginning has an end. |
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Thunderlungs
Acolyte
8 Posts |
Posted - 05 Aug 2011 : 16:08:26
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| Well, this post now shows up as the 5th result when you google "Elminster quotes", so let's do this! |
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Thunderlungs
Acolyte
8 Posts |
Posted - 05 Aug 2011 : 16:12:43
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I guess an easy addition are his rather humorous signs around his tower:
"Gone gathering spell components." (This sign at the base of the path is very old and weather beaten, and most pay it little heed.)
"No trespassing. Violators should notify next of kin. Have a pleasant day."
"An archmage often can react poorly to interruption. Please reconsider before it is too late."
"Trespassers could die a quick and certain death or they could be invited in for stew. Thank you for thinking better of disturbing my privacy."
"Rumors of spike-filled pits along this path are almost totally false. Thank you for your caution."
"This ancient path
is cracked and paved
with the bones of those
who could not behave."
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Steven Schend
Forgotten Realms Designer & Author
USA
1707 Posts |
Posted - 10 Aug 2011 : 19:48:49
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I'll add my favorite (as it's also the first I got to read before anyone else, within the Ruins of Undermountain ms):
"Undermountain? Ah yes, [trimmed for speed & sanity's sake] the largest known mass grave in Faerun today." |
For current projects and general natter, see www.steveneschend.com
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Erik Scott de Bie
Forgotten Realms Author
USA
4598 Posts |
Posted - 10 Aug 2011 : 23:22:27
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My favorite is in Spellfire, where, as I seem to recall, Torm (the KoMD Torm) is hanging from a windowledge when he accidentally puts his hand in a bird's nest and squashes the occupant. "Yuck," says Torm, at which point the bird looks down dubiously at him and says--in Elminster's voice--"Well, how do you think I feel about it?"
Cheers |
Erik Scott de Bie
'Tis easier to destroy than to create.
Author of a number of Realms novels (GHOSTWALKER, DEPTHS OF MADNESS, and the SHADOWBANE series), contributor to the NEVERWINTER CAMPAIGN GUIDE and SHADOWFELL: GLOOMWROUGHT AND BEYOND, Twitch DM of the Dungeon Scrawlers, currently playing "The Westgate Irregulars" |
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Kno
Senior Scribe
452 Posts |
Posted - 11 Aug 2011 : 14:16:48
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| In the Realms, the even-armed cross is used as an ornament and not a holy symbol, and it is commonly seen in that decorative role.-vgatm |
z455t |
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Andrekan
Seeker
65 Posts |
Posted - 12 Aug 2011 : 04:23:33
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| Ye had to ask |
"Those two talk only of drink, riches, women, brawling, and magic, so ye've a one in five chance..." Quote from "Elminster in Hell" |
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AdamBridger
Learned Scribe
United Kingdom
118 Posts |
Posted - 14 Aug 2011 : 11:58:37
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| Never actually read an Elminster book. Recently bought the Elminster Ascending Omnibus and its in my to read list so i'll add my favourite quotes when i time to read it. |
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TBeholder
Great Reader
2382 Posts |
Posted - 21 Feb 2012 : 05:05:16
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Just about everything, really. quote:
As if keeping an undead ferret in her tunic weren't enough to drive civilized company away, she spent her last social gathering explaining the disparate relative effects of falling damage on living and undead rat squirrels to two decidedly uncomfortable apprentice mages with good prospects.
- Elminster's Ecologies, Appendix 1
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People never wonder How the world goes round -Helloween
And even I make no pretense Of having more than common sense -R.W.Wood
It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo. -Ed Whitchurch |
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Jeremy Grenemyer
Great Reader
USA
2717 Posts |
Posted - 21 Feb 2012 : 05:27:00
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| From Elminster Must Die, page 59, in response to an arrogant War Wizard proclaiming that "nothing matters except winning": "Oh? If nothing matters, lad, there's nothing worth fighting for." |
Look for me and my content at EN World (user name: sanishiver). |
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Markustay
Realms Explorer extraordinaire
USA
15724 Posts |
Posted - 24 Feb 2012 : 20:41:45
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"I'm getting too old for this".
One he should have said:
"Excuse me, I seem to have stepped in some Manshoon". |
"I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me" --- Dudley Field Malone
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Dennis
Great Reader
9933 Posts |
Posted - 25 Feb 2012 : 04:12:26
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Elminster, upon seeing Manshoon appear a few yards before him, summoned a can of 'something' he bought during one of his visits to Earth, raised it, and said: "How many cans of insecticides must I spray to rid of you?" |
Every beginning has an end. |
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Crust
Learned Scribe
USA
273 Posts |
Posted - 11 Mar 2012 : 03:35:57
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My favorite Elminster quote is in my signature.  |
"That's right, hurl back views that force ye to think by name-calling - 'tis the grand old tradition, let it not down! Anything to keep from having to think, or - Mystra forfend - change thy own views!"
Narnra glowered at her father. "Just how am I to learn how to think? By being taught by you?"
"Some folk in the Realms would give their lives for the chance to learn at my feet," Elminster said mildly. "Several already have."
~from Elminster's Daughter, Ed Greenwood |
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TBeholder
Great Reader
2382 Posts |
Posted - 12 Mar 2012 : 15:52:54
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Volo's Guide to All Things Magical:
[4] Elminster: Delusions this grand are the final frightening stages of the descent into babbling idiocy. Hmmm, perhaps the lad would've made a good mage after all... |
People never wonder How the world goes round -Helloween
And even I make no pretense Of having more than common sense -R.W.Wood
It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo. -Ed Whitchurch |
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Cpt420
Acolyte
5 Posts |
Posted - 25 May 2012 : 23:04:16
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| My favorite Elm saying would be from the knights of myth drannor series, when he drops the many parts from manshoons different clones and his voice comes out of the mouth ans say "aye entertainment" |
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Lord Karsus
Great Reader
USA
3737 Posts |
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Dennis
Great Reader
9933 Posts |
Posted - 27 May 2012 : 03:08:46
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quote:
Originally posted by Lord Karsus
-I like the times he's stunned into silence and doesn't have a witty retort, because characters that have actual or percieved control over too many situations annoy me.
Like your namesake. |
Every beginning has an end. |
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Yoss
Learned Scribe
USA
259 Posts |
Posted - 28 May 2012 : 16:04:14
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| I'm blanking on exactly what, and too lazy to go into the other room and grab the book to look, but I know there was definitely something in the making of a mage I'd call a favorite. |
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Thauranil
Master of Realmslore
India
1591 Posts |
Posted - 29 May 2012 : 08:14:19
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| " Fly, you fools" . Oh wait that was some other irascible old wizard. |
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althen artren
Senior Scribe
USA
780 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2012 : 00:42:36
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| I like the whole "ahem" when he is about to be witty, or when he has just been witty. |
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LordXenophon
Learned Scribe
USA
147 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2012 : 01:03:19
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"It must have been fun growing up as a powerful wizard."
Not a quote from Elminster, but a thought about him by someone who was looking for him at the beginning of Elminster, the Making of a Mage. |
Disintegration is in the eye of the Beholder. |
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Thauranil
Master of Realmslore
India
1591 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2012 : 11:05:05
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Life has no meaning but what we give it. I wish a few more of ye would give it a little.
Elminster: The Making of a Mage |
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sleyvas
Skilled Spell Strategist
USA
11695 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2012 : 15:21:18
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"Mystra, ye do like to test me don't you?"
The unwritten thoughts of our favorite mage one day when Storm was bending over provocatively in front of him, all while the Simbul was watching him closely |
Alavairthae, may your skill prevail
Phillip aka Sleyvas |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36779 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jun 2012 : 17:13:14
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quote:
Originally posted by sleyvas
"Mystra, ye do like to test me don't you?"
The unwritten thoughts of our favorite mage one day when Storm was bending over provocatively in front of him, all while the Simbul was watching him closely
In a situation like that, my thoughts would have been more like "Hey, look how intently I'm staring at this wall in an entirely different direction!" |
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I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen! |
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sleyvas
Skilled Spell Strategist
USA
11695 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jul 2012 : 17:43:25
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quote:
Originally posted by Wooly Rupert
quote:
Originally posted by sleyvas
"Mystra, ye do like to test me don't you?"
The unwritten thoughts of our favorite mage one day when Storm was bending over provocatively in front of him, all while the Simbul was watching him closely
In a situation like that, my thoughts would have been more like "Hey, look how intently I'm staring at this wall in an entirely different direction!"
LOL, spoken like a man who has seen the crazy come out in his girl.... oh wait, that'd be all of us. |
Alavairthae, may your skill prevail
Phillip aka Sleyvas |
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Share your favorite Elminster quotes!
